


Within Stark's Workshop

by Its_Just_Chemistry, midnightcaligraphy



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Human Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Snarky Jarvis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:32:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Its_Just_Chemistry/pseuds/Its_Just_Chemistry, https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightcaligraphy/pseuds/midnightcaligraphy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few drabbles of DUM-E and Jarvis, with a bit of Tony Stark in the mix too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Within Stark's Workshop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [midnightcaligraphy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightcaligraphy/gifts).



> Almost all of the ideas for these Drabbles come from the wonderful midnightcaligraphy, (I just turned them into Drabbles). For that I am gifting this to you because I am more than certain I would have never come up with any of these amazing ideas. It's thanks to you I've found out that Jarvis and DUM-E could actually be considered a ship. Thank you for everything :)
> 
> (P.S. I had a lot of fun writing these. They were time consuming but I truly enjoyed writing them. I hope everyone enjoys reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them.)
> 
> An AU where Jarvis is actually human. Nothing else really changes. Characterization is probably a bit off. I think I played around too much with Jarvis's. Oh well.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

     1 -=- Put Me Down

Tony wobbled drunkenly into the room, trying not to spill the drink in his cup. It was the fifth one that afternoon, and he was pretty drunk.

So when Tony walked into his work station and found Jarvis being dangled above the ground by DUM-E, it didn't surprise him in the slightest. He'd just blame it on the alcohol.

And with that delusional thought quickly floating to the back of his head, Tony clumsily turned on his heel and started to head out the door, ignoring the calls of annoyance coming from Jarvis as the man attempted to free himself from DUM-E's grasp.

 

     2 -=- Fire Fighters

"Sir, I don't advise you using flameable objects within your garage...again."

"Oh don't worry so much Jarvis it'll be fine. Plus," Tony pointed his thumb at the AI to his left," I have DUM-E on fire safety."

Jarvis groaned with disapproval before sighing. "If you say so sir. But I stil advise caution."

"Yeah yeah I got it. Now, time to fire this baby up," Tony prepared to activate the mechanics of the suit, "In three."

Jarvis covered his ears, "Two."

Tony's thumbs grazed over the controls, "One-"

and with that Tony's being slammed against the wall, surprisingly not catching on fire as Tony noticed. Sadly, DUM-E was not as attentive. Moments later the extinguisher went off, the only problem, it wasn't aimed at Tony.

"What the-"

As Tony recovered from his fall and stood up, he ended up falling back down again in a fit of hysteric laughter at the sight before him.

Now loudly coughing and growling, Jarvis stared menacingly at the AI with the extinguisher. He was more than pissed. The man looked like he wanted to run someone over with a truck.

Jarvis started to roll up his sleeves.

"I'm giving you five seconds. You better roll like hell."

Tony started to choke on his own laughter as yells and whirs were heard throughout the house. He could only imagine what Pepper was witnessing upstairs.

 

     3 -=- Happy Birthday to You, You Seem Real Confused...

The lights were off in Stark's workplace. Why? Jarvis didn't have a clue. Tony was probably asleep on a chair somewhere, or maybe a fuse blew. Whatever the reason, it didn't really make much of a difference.

As Jarvis flicked on the lights in the room, a shocking sight appeared before him. It was Tony and DUM-E and...a cake?

"Happy Birthday Jarvis!"

The AI beside Tony started to make whirring noises in rhythm of the phrase. It seemed to be excited. However, Jarvis still found himself in the dark.

"...it's my birthday?"

Tony laughed aloud, pulling the cone-shaped party hat on his head forward as it started to slip off. "Well of course it is silly! Don't tell me you actually forgot."

Jarvis stared wide-eyed at Tony before turning his attention to the mechanical AI to his side. There was a party hat on it too. "...so it is my birthday then..."

Tony walked over to Jarvis, a wide smile plastered on his face as he slung his arm over the other's shoulder. "Indeed it is! And we're going to celebrate! Now come on," Tony pointed to the alcoholic beverages lined up next to the cake, "I've been dying to get my hands on those. They're not the cheap crap you get from your local bar."

Jarvis continued to stare at the table with the party items on it. There was alcohol, presents, plastic cutlery, snacks...it seems the two had set up quite a lot for such a small party. Then there was the cake.

Jarvis' face turned to one of slight disgust. "Why is the cake burnt?"

Tony's expression suddenly changed to that of embarassment, before giving a sheepish smile and laugh. "Well uh...DUM-E was supposed to get it out of the oven sooner but he uh...kinda forgot so...you know."

There was an awkward silence that filled the room, not even DUM-E was making any sound.

Tony coughed a bit to clear the air of its soundless atmosphere. "I mean...there's still cake. That's gotta count for something right?" He let out a bit of a nervous laugh, ending it shortly when Jarvis' expression stayed the same. Tony started rubbing the back of his neck, looking for something to say.

"...um...y-y'know, if you don't like the cake then...I can go head to the store and go buy a new one. I mean, it's not like it's that big of a deal anyways so..."

"Please do sir."

Tony gulped, a red hue spreading across his face, "Sure thing Jarvis...don't want to ruin your birthday with something as important as the cake." As Tony was about to head out the door, he paused, "Any specific flavor you want?"

Tony noticed Jarvis' attention was on the cake. "Anything other than _burnt_ will be just fine."

"Right...I'll be right back."

And with that, Tony left in search of a new cake for Jarvis' birthday, leaving the man alone with no one but the AI.

Jarvis stared a moment longer at the cake before looking up at DUM-E.

"So you helped Mr. Stark bake this?"

The AI gave a bit of a sheepish whir before turning away slightly from Jarvis' gaze. The man took the response as appropriate and turned back the cake, grabbing a plastic fork from the table.

He scooped off a bit from one of the edges before eating it. He winced a few times before swallowing with an audible gulp, making a sound of disgust soon after. He started to wipe his mouth with his sleeve before noticing the AI now looking at him. Jarvis coughed professionally, a slight hue on his face.

"A bit...bland. Though not too bad," he lied. As terrible as the cake had been Jarvis didn't want to hurt the AI's feelings, even though the thing was pracially just a hunk of metal with nothing but joints and a claw for features. At least it had tried.

Jarvis bet that if DUM-E had gotten the cake out in time it might've actually tasted quite nice.

The AI made a whirring noise as a response. It seemed a bit happier with the statement. That was good. Then it started to roll away, probably to one of Mr. Stark's newest inventions.

As DUM-E rolled off to the actual work station Jarvis called out to him,

"Next time get the cake out of the oven at the right time."

Guess he'd just have to wait until next year to find out

 

     4 -=- No Touching Policy

Jarvis studied the suit carefully, examining every detail and every part. It truly was an amazing piece of work, that was for sure. It seemed so...alluring too. Probably the way the light reflected off its metallic overcoat. The color was magnificent as well, gold and red fitting together perfectly. Jarvis just wanted to touch it, just know what it was like to be able to feel such an exquisite work of machinery under his fingertips as he reached his hand out to run down the chest-.

Jarvis blinked suddenly as he felt a metallic hand-no, _claw_ grab his arm, directing it away from the suit. Jarvis pulled his arm away and turned to look at the AI, eyes squinted with a look of annoyance plastered on his face. "I just wanted to touch it."

DUM-E gave a slightly angered whir as a response, extending his arm to point to a sign placed on the wall by the side of the suit. Jarvis read what it said aloud. "'This equipment is Stark Industries property. Please refrain from touching'..." Jarvis rolled his eyes after reading the sign before reaching to touch the suit once more, "Mr. Stark wouldn't mind if I touched the suit. It's his after all. That sign is just there for show."

Suddnely Jarvis felt his arm grabbed again and directed away from the suit, but this time he pulled it away quicker and reached out once again, only to have his path blocked as DUM-E extended his arm forward in front of the suit, preventing Jarvis from touching it. The man growled in disapproval between clenched teeth.

"You are one annoying hunk of scrap metal."

Jarvis then reached out to touch DUM-E, only to have his hand slapped away by the AI. It then pointed back to the sign.

Jarvis' jaw went slack in disbelief and annoyance as the AI whirred and rolled away. Jarvis stared after it as he clenched his teeth together once more.

"You're probably Stark Industries least valued asset," he called out to DUM-E's retreating figure.

The man groaned as he turned back to the suit. The light continued to reflect off of it, giving Jarvis that urge to touch it once more. He reached out, his fingers centimeters away from the metallic overcoat, just barely able to-

"Jarvis what are you doing?"

The man stopped right in his tracks, ignoring the sound of Tony sipping his drink by straw.

The man behind him spoke in a tuned fashion, "Busted..."

The only thing Jarvis could hear louder than his sped up heartbeat was the sound of Tony slurping the last of his drink. Though he was pretty sure he could hear DUM-E giving off a few mocking whirs in the distance.

"Curse that damned machine..."


End file.
